


Welcome Back (To The Freakshow)

by FireSoul



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post 1x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 15:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18471853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireSoul/pseuds/FireSoul
Summary: Set after Episode 9 "Jane Patrol"."I think she's better."She is better, a little bit, maybe. All she really knows is that for the first time in a very long time she is ok with being awake.





	Welcome Back (To The Freakshow)

Jane’s been quiet these past few days.

That’s fine; she went through a lot in the underground.

When she didn’t come to dinner that night Cliff made her Baby Doll’s favorite, he’s pretty sure she likes those sandwiches too, and brought it up to her room.

“Jane?” He’d asked, knocking lightly as his clunky hands would. “I uh… I made you a sandwich.” No answer.

“Look, I know uh… I know you’ve just been through a lot and you probably don’t want to talk about it but, um, if you need anything, you know where to find me. Ok?” Again he didn’t receive an answer.

“I’m just gonna leave this here.” He said and nudged the plate through the slot in her door, and he groaned internally when he heard it shatter.

He hadn’t really thought she would want to talk, at least not anytime soon, and he gets that sometimes he can be impatient, but it’s been almost a week now and still she has hardly said anything, about _anything_.

Not just anything concerning the underground, anything at all.

She murmurs a few small “yes’s” and “no’s” when asked a question, and more disturbingly “pleases and thank you’s” when asking for something; Rita dropped a glass the first time she heard it.

She hasn’t even told any of them to fuck off since the ordeal; in fact he isn’t sure if she’s even used the word fuck, it’s weird.

He’s also a little worried about the others, cause he hasn’t seen so much as one sign of Hammerhead, Baby Doll, or even Silver Tongue. Then again Penny had seemed pretty insistent on getting Jane back to the surface, so maybe they all felt the same and are taking a break from driving.

She’s sitting at the counter when he walks into the kitchen, although why the fuck he ever bothers coming into the kitchen is beyond him, but still, she’s alone.

“Hey,” he says, trying to sound cheery, “You want to watch a movie tonight? Rita’s finally coming around on stuff she isn’t in; I’m trying to convince her to go for Karate Kid.”

Nothing.

“I think I got Cyborg on board, your vote would give us majority.”

Nothing.

“Jane?”

Still nothing.

He isn’t going to push further than that, so he opens up a cabinet and starts checking the rattraps, because fuck if he is going to let another rat-

“I’m not Jane.”

He freezes, then swivels his head. She’s still sitting there, picking at a loose thread on the cuff of her sweatshirt.

She looks like Jane, no eyeliner but otherwise like Jane.

“So which one are you?”

She doesn’t answer him with words. Instead she curls in on herself even further than she already is and starts to cry.

“Whoa, hey. Hey I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” He stutters, trying to think of something to say.

He takes a step closer, his instinct is to put his hands on her shoulders but given his current situation with hands and his tendency to sometimes grip things too hard he doesn’t want to accidentally wind up hurting her. Besides, given the demons she’s faced lately, and the lack of Hammerhead to tell him, he isn’t sure how she’d react to touch.

So he stands awkwardly in front of her, waiting while her tears peter out, and when they turn to hiccups he decides he can make himself useful by getting her a glass of water.

Her hiccups are coming in rapid squeaks by the time he places the glass on the counter, and she reaches forward with a trembling hand.

“Th..th…tha..”

“Easy,” he hums, “Take your time, you don’t want to choke.”

She nods, and then promptly ignores him and attempts drinking the water. She chokes, of course, and he can’t help her because anything his stupid metal limbs try to do will only end up hurting her.

“Shit, what did I just say?”  
She tries to choke out an apology, and if he could roll his eyes he would, but instead he gets more water and at least this time she has the sense to wait until she can breathe for longer than half a second at a time.

“Sorry.” She finally manages after draining the second glass.

“It’s ok.” He says, and while she wipes at her eyes he pulls up a chair and takes a seat. “So, you’re not Jane?”

It isn’t really a question, even if he asks it like one. She nods anyway, and suddenly he is very afraid because, well, she’s been like this ever since they came back from the trip into her mind.

And he knows that was Jane at the well.

“Ok, so what’s your name?”

She shutters, her hands going back to the empty glass and gripping it so tight he almost thinks she might shatter it.

“I’m Kay.”

Her voice is heavy, like the name should mean something important. But all he knows about Kay is she’s the one he met in Bernheim, and then he was told to _never_ ask about her again. So what is he supposed to-?

_“Kay Challis?”_

_“My name is Miranda.”_

_“Miranda was a primary, like Jane.”_

_“You should see your true essence.”_

Fuck.

She’s still gripping that glass, her teeth digging into her lip.

“You… You’re the…” The what? The real one? No, Jane is real. Hammerhead is real. Baby Doll, Penny, Karen; they’re all real. But Kay is… maybe original is the word he’s looking for. But that makes her sound like a science experiment.

“Yeah.” She mutters, like she doesn’t know what to classify herself as any better than he does.

“Jane trusts you, right?” She asks after a very awkward silence.

“Uh… I think so. I mean, she’s never said anything but the others have told me she does.”

She nods and puts down the glass, her fingers curling into the fabric of her sleeves again and she looks anywhere but at him.

“I’m not very good at talking to the others.” She says, “The things they’ve seen, the things they’ve done… I don’t remember any of it. It’s like I’ve been asleep, for a long time.”

He almost asks how long, but given the fact that she was just a kid in school when the teacher started yelling at her for insisting she was Miranda, he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want the answer. His next instinct is to ask about the last thing she does remember, but there is a very good chance that thing will be a certain douchebag and hearing about it will have him putting more holes in the concrete walls of the basement. Again.

“You don’t remember anything from your life?” He finally decides on, and then just for clarity’s sake adds “After…”

“I remember feelings.” She says thoughtfully. “And names, and facts. I know where I am, how to paint, do math, and who you all are. But, I don’t remember learning any of it. My mind’s just kind of like, ‘Ok, you’re here now. Here’s what you need to know.’ But I don’t remember anything about any of it.”

He nods along with her words, though if he’s being totally honest he isn’t sure he follows exactly. Doesn’t matter, he’s a little more concerned with the sudden look of fear on her face.

“And… I remember Bernheim.”

Right, because that psychopath had forced her out.

She looks like she might start crying again, and he can’t blame her. She hadn’t been ready to come out then, she’d been ripped out of whatever little mental room of safety she’d built for herself so long ago.

But she’s here now, of her own accord.

“I remember Bernheim too.” He says, “I mean, I couldn’t see you, ya know, because I was a brain. But I could feel it when you picked me up, which thank you, by the way, I’m not sure if that message got to you.”

She giggles, a real giggle he knows he has never seen on any of the personalities, not even Baby Doll or Karen.

“You’re welcome.” She says, but as soon as the smile’s come it fades, and she looks worried again.

“Um… Jane and the others are all still a part of me, I think. But…”

“But you’re gonna be the one on the surface from now on.”

“I’m gonna try to be.”

He nods, and he’ll admit this is one of those very rare times where he’s grateful to be a robot; no tears to betray him.

“But, because I’m not very good with communicating with them, can you give Jane a message for me? The next time you see her?”

“Of course.”

“Can you tell her thank you?” She asks; her fists now fully curled into the worn cuffs of her hoodie, her teeth nibbling at the edges. “For protecting me?”

“Yeah, yeah I can do that.”

He’s pretty sure he sounds a little too eager, but for the record, this is the first of her personalities whom he hasn’t had to immediately fight tooth and nail for so much as a conversation (except for maybe Penny), never mind asking him for a favor.

She nods and mutters a quiet “thank you”, and gets off her stool and starts to leave.

“Oh, and Cliff?” She says; he hadn’t even realized she’d turned back.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”


End file.
